Note from the Editor: In the tradition of “Congressman’s Corner,” Salty Eggs has invited Rep. Allen West  to field questions from his South Florida constituents. Until we get a response to our query, we will do our best to answer questions on his behalf, based on what we know of his temperament and politics.

How do you feel about hoodies? And Skittles?

Gerald O’Rivera
Jupiter

Dear Mr. O’Rivera,

Clearly, the death of young Trayvon Martin at the hands of a Neighborhood Watchman continues to roil. Our mailroom looks like April in Tuscaloosa. You might expect me to be at odds with myself: on the one hand, a black man living in America; on the other, someone who enjoys expressing himself with firearms. Indeed, I am the only nonwhite gun owner in 50 states who polls well among Republicans. But rest assured that I will neither change my story nor split hairs in this matter, nor seek political advantage: George Zimmerman deserves to be tried by a jury of his peers after I’ve had some time alone with him to demonstrate how we’re a nation of laws.

As to dress, I am bespoke, although my staff insists I would “rock a hoodie” at the annual Toys for Tots Bike Run. I shall consider it. As for eating Skittles, what’s this “taste the rainbow” business? Whatever it means, it’s a behavior. And people can change those sorts of things. No one is telling Skittles fans they don’t have the same basic rights that anyone in America has. I like chocolate chip ice cream. And I will continue to like chocolate chip ice cream. Sometimes I even add sprinkles! (Though never the rainbow kind.) There’s no worry about me changing to vanilla. Does that answer your question?

Loyal and steadfast! Lt. Col. (ret) Allen B West

Will the Supreme Court strike down Obamacare?

Scott Richards
Tallahassee

Dear Mr. Richards,

Because a bare majority of the court cherishes liberty, I see a bright future for corporate care and untrammeled prosperity for those still permitted to practice it.

Loyal and steadfast! Lt. Col. (ret) Allen B West

Is war with Iran inevitable, and does President Obama need authorization from Congress to invade?

F.A. Tigue
Boynton Beach

Dear Ms. Tigue,

The President has my personal assent. That should suffice. If he acts now — and act he must — the need for continuity of leadership and resolve in this great undertaking will become paramount, and will naturally dictate that I be returned to office in November.

Loyal and steadfast! Lt. Col. (ret) Allen B West

Have a question for the Lt. Col.? E-mail us at [email protected]

Photo by Gage Skidmore.

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